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Can I Find God

Before I Die?

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                by Bestselling Author Michael N. Marcus

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Bestselling author Michael N. Marcus has lived his adult life as a non-believing Jew. Now, at the age of 74, like many senior citizens, he contemplates the future. This book is an exploration of various religions, and beginnings and ends of life.

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Marcus says, “At my age it’s common to think about THE END (which may occur at any moment). Some evil people suddenly become nice people, hoping to spend eternity in heaven instead of the warmer alternative. Others, like me, who have not been particularly evil, start thinking about what lies ahead.”

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Jewish theology doesn’t deal much with the afterlife. “Christians constantly think and talk about it,” Marcus says. “I’ve thought about it a lot lately. If I go to heaven, will I be reunited with my wonderful dog who died a few years ago? Will I spend eternity as a pained, crippled old man―or as a vibrant 20-year old, laughing, eating fine foods, listening to my favorite music, reading good books, hanging out with great people, and getting laid a lot?”

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Marcus had assumed he’d die at the age of 89, in 2035. But now he doubts he’ll last that long. “Lots of my body parts,” he says, “don’t work as well as they once did, or as often. I sometimes think it would be nice to not exist at all.”

 

Marcus’s concept of God was based on childhood images of an old guy with a long beard up on a cloud. He says, "​I outgrew religion when I was 12 years old and could not get a good explanation for why the mighty Supreme Being who smote the enemies of the ancient Jewish people did not stop Atilla the Hun, the Great Plague, the Spanish Inquisition, the Holocaust and the KKK. ​ I wondered if the omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent King of the Universe was absent, distracted, no longer cared, or never actually existed. ​I could accept the notion of a creative force (which I label The Prime Catalyst) but I could not make a transition from a Big Bang to a Supreme Being that should be feared and prayed to.”

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​In researching this book Marcus hoped to arrive at an ‘adult’ understanding of God. Will a better understanding make him a believer? Perhaps. The answer is in the book.